From an old journal entry 12/09/08
First of all, I would like to have a friend. I don’t know that i have an actual friend. I know many people, but…. I don’t have a friend. I guess I would like a friend, and learn how to make a friend,keep a friend,be a friend. I’m not sure how often friends keep in touch. I am very good at keeping in touch with my family. The fact that they don’t keep in touch with me is neither here nor there. I won’t play that game.
Maybe if I had a friend to talk with I wouldn’t need to try so hard with my family.
I would make sure my friend knew I appreciated them , that I would be there if they needed me,. I would care about them, encourage and support them, be understanding, and patient and kind, and be the best friend I can be. I only need a friend! I guess I could say my sisters are friends. I could say that Yvonne, Jeannie and Noelene are friends. I do have friends faraway!
I was so pleasantly surprised to have a visit earlier in the year from Noelene and Len, and a birthday txt from Noelene for my birthday, which I loved. And the lovely surprise of speaking to Jeannie last year after many years of keeping in touch yearly at Christmas. To stop and reminisce sometimes brings back happy memories and sometimes sad ones. But I try to brush away the sad ones and and live where I am now – living in the moment.
Sad moments since we have lived here were saying goodbye to our neighbour, Jim who only had days to live and who was so scared of the unknown of dying. And having to say goodbye to Brady’s friend Darryl who was in the same position was pretty hard too.
Since then, I have no more friends than I had before. I have said goodbye to other friends and 4 special aunts. We are now moving into the age bracket that it’s our friends and aquaintances are leaving.
I am always busy with my garden and craft,
I still blog for positivity, motivation, inspiration,
I still write to my family, txt and email, with very little response.
I hear from my sister once a fortnight which is great,
So, I get on with living. I am happy right where I am at this present moment, and life is generally okay when I keep on keeping on, and I’m generally accepting of that’s how things are.
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could do.
Some blunders and absurdities have
crept in; forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it
serenely and with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old nonsense. Emerson